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September 30, 2005

Where In The World Is Katie Holmes? (Celebrity Gossip)

I’m a little worried about Katie Holmes -- has anybody seen her lately? It wasn’t that long ago that the Cruise-Holmes “Tiger Beat-Bop styled” infatuation and P.D.A was forced upon us. I’m sure Cruise’s publicist has a gag order on him and has mandated (to keep his post-parttum mouth shut and tongue out of Miss Holmes) a blackout on all media for his own good. Cruise publicists will only tell us that he is shooting the new Mission Impossible -I will spare you the pun relating to his publicity fiasco. The movie business is where we like Tom, not on his soapbox. Really, Tom, with all due respect, you don’t have a uterus and don’t suffer from the effects of female hormones….or do you? The crazy interview with Oprah and Matt Lauer were just too awkward. Backstory

But what is Katie Holmes up too? Is she getting a brain makeover? As a former Scientologist and mid-level cult leader, I am concerned! Not so much about Scientology -- the celebrity version of Scientology is very different from the “average joe” version of Scientology. I can’t say much more for fear that “they” will pull my C.M.O (Commodore Messenger Organization) auditing records; after all, I did sign a contact for life at the age of 12, which I guess I violated when I escaped.

Don’t the publicists of the TOMKAT super “sell-elebrity” brand know that although Tommy has lost some respect amongst a few billion humans, we still love and adore Katie and want to see her before, during and after the brainwashing? She is his better half, after all, and we need to be reassured all is well in TOMKAT land.

While Tom may be dodging the media, Dr. Phil challenged Tom to a discussion this week. Tom was the victim of a PR prank and Brooke Shields revisited her clash with Cruise by discussing with Oprah the issues of her depression. I must say, after viewing the Tivo'd episode, I am forever back in love with Brooke. She has been an open book, a professional, kept her cool when attacked and joy to watch all grown-up. My favorite part of the Oprah interview was when Shields was talking about an op-ed piece she wrote for The New York Times at the height of their debate last summer; she suggested that Cruise leave large issues such as postpartum depression to medical experts and that he instead should stick to defending the world from aliens. As Shields, breaking into a sheepish smile, told Winfrey: "His movie was premiering that week, and it just seemed like an appropriate response."

We can only hope the best for Brooke, and hope that soon we will find out where in the world is Katie Holmes! Sound off on this summer's celebrity couples. Take the 3-6 min survey on Polling Point and let your voice be heard!

Posted by Steve Hultgren at September 30, 2005 03:27 PM

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