Pierce Mattie Public Relations New York & Los Angeles

People are still talking, and blogging for that matter, about the TIME Magazine article, “At Your Service,” a look at the growing extravagance of luxury hotels. According to a director of research at Atlanta-based PKF Hospitality Research, guests’ spending at such hotels has gone up an estimated 14% from 2005 to 2006 and a whopping 57% from 2001 to 2006.

And where, you might ask, is all of this money going? To the personal butler, pedigree pancakes for Poochie, and the private gazebo of course. With such amenities, high rollers won’t ever have to step foot outside their suite’s door. But why anyone would want to spend so much time in their room in the first place is beyond me, unless of course you’re Paris Hilton and you’ve just been put under house arrest.

Well, I did some more investigating and the examples in TIME are just the tip of the iceberg. You won’t believe what today’s most pampered travelers are treated to these days. Here are my top five picks of extravagant hotels in order of sheer ridiculousness.

The Plaza Hotel, New York

With silk covered walls, views overlooking Central Park, and a hand painted piano depicting scenes from the French baroque countryside, the 7,802-square-foot presidential suite almost takes up the entire 18th floor. It boasts of five bedrooms, five and a half baths, two living rooms, a dining room, and your very own sauna. The suite also comes with its own private secretary or butler in toe, depending on your orders, and they’ll be at your beck and call in their office just adjacent to your quarters. Thirsty? Perhaps you’ll find what you’re looking for in the 2000-bottle wine cellar. Feeling a bit peckish? No worries, you’ll have your very own personal chef, but chances are, at $15,000 a night, you probably already have plans to bring your own.

Westin Excelsior Villa La Cupola, Rome

This palazzo is akin to sleeping in the Sistine. The 6,099 square foot suite takes up two floors and is entirely hand-frescoed. If that doesn’t appeal enough to your Italian senses, the living room is adorned with masterpieces rendered in stained glass combining mythological figures and modern concepts such as Hermaphrodite and Fashion and Atlas and television. And, speaking of television, you can leave your Slingbox home and just step into your own private cinema with Dolby surround sound, now that’s something the Vatican probably doesn’t have. Just be prepared to cough up $10,000 for your night of living la dolce vita or $14,000 if you wish to use the additional five bedrooms. Viva Italia!

Wilson Hotel, Geneva

The Swiss are always so delightfully understated. Except here. For the slightly insecure, a private elevator will whisk you up to the Wilson’s Imperial Suite so you won’t have to deal with the paparazzi in the public lifts. And, just in case you are worried about stalkers or snipers, the windows and doors are bulletproof for your protection. Now you can enjoy your billiards room, library, and cocktail lounge in total peace. And the cost of being able to sleep in those Egyptian 400 count Frette sheets? A mere $23,000 from your numbered account.

Regent Beverly Wilshire, Beverly Hills

For the true red carpet experience book the Regent’s penthouse suite, starring three bedrooms, a wraparound balcony, a formal dining room, living room, kitchen and den. But the real perk? Your pre-stay interview. Yes, that’s right, you can schedule a meeting where you or your assistant can tell the staff everything you love from Casablanca lilies to caviar and they’ll make sure your room is stocked. And if you have a particular hankering for the latest epi of britsoap Hollyoaks or the oh so naughty Dutch Big Brother, they’ll make sure the satellite TV is preprogrammed to all of your favorite channels. All they ask is that you charge up a paltry $7,500 on your Amex Black.

Burj Al Arab Jumeirah, Dubai

Finally, an oasis of luxury in the sultry sands. This one is definitely off the charts. Not only does this ultra luxe hotel have all the amenities of the aforementioned other hotels, but they offer custom interior decorating services as well. So, you’d rather have the suite’s living room painted Tapenade? They’re on it. Perhaps Winston Jr. has an interest in trains? No problem, the theme will be incorporated on a mural in the nursery. Oh, you like to jump on the elliptical in the morning and then beat the life out of a punching bag with the visage of your ex? Your private gym will be prepared as ordered. Amazing.