Pierce Mattie Public Relations New York & Los Angeles

Tom is not only gay, but sterile.

Rumors have circulated for many years that Tom is gay, he and Nicole shared separate wings of their home when they were married and that Tom’s entourage offered not only Katie Holmes, but Scarlett Johannsen and Jessica Alba, contracts to become the next “Mrs. Cruise.” Despite these rumors, I was recently let in on a little secret that Tom is sterile and cannot produce children even if he decided to close his eyes and sleep with a woman.

Katie’s Bump

Need I say more? The first picture above is a photograph taken of Katie with an abnormally large preggers bump on March 25th. The second photo was taken shortly after and only five days before she reportedly gave birth.

No One Has Seen Her

Fellow Scientologists John Travolta, Kelly Preston and Lisa Marie Presley have not bore witness to the creature they call Suri. Even their close friends Will and Jada Pinkett Smith haven't met her, seen pictures or been invited to their home since the birth. NO ONE can attest that they have seen this baby – not even the nurse that supposedly delivered her.

The Birth Certificate

According to TMZ.com: “St. John's Hospital has a policy of filing birth certificates within 10 days of birth. In this case, Suri was born on April 18 but the certificate was not filed until May 8, 20 days later. An official from the hospital told TMZ that the delay occurred because they needed a signature from the parents or a representative of the parents certifying birth, and that person did not come in until May 4. The person who signed is labeled "friend." The signature is not legible.

Also, the "Attendant or Certifier" who signed the certificate -- Anne Heffernan, RNC -- was not in the delivery room and did not see the baby. But a hospital rep tells TMZ that Heffernan is authorized to sign when the doctor is not available. A hospital rep said "normally the doctor signs" but it isn't a requirement.
Finally, the hospital rep said that the circumstances that triggered the eventual signing of the birth certificate were that Suri needed a passport and a birth certificate is a prerequisite to obtaining one.”

If Katie really did give birth to a baby, my suspicion is that it came out looking a lot like Chris Klein and the couple is working furiously to find a baby that is four months old and resembles at least one of the parents.

Good luck with that!